How to Keep Choosing Love Over Fear
personal growth
Love over fear, love over fear, love over fear.
Ever heard of this?
I have.
It’s interesting how I would have a different to-go quote that I would rely on in different phases of my life. They could be something like a random mental download, or a verse/phrase/lyrics you read somewhere and remember, or maybe even a channeled message from your spirit consciously or unconsciously during meditations.
Have you got one too?
“If you want the moon,
do not hide from the night.
If you want a rose,
do not run from the thorns.
If you want love,
do not hide from yourself.”
About 5- 7 years ago, it was, “ Live and let live.” Of course, it was helpful as I was about 21-22 years old. I had just finished school and was ready to explore the world and live my experiences.
In these past few years, my monumental to-go quote is, “Love over fear, over and over again.” I cannot really pinpoint exactly that first specific moment in my life where love, over fear came up. But what I do know is, Love and Fear became a consistent, ever-evolving and flowing topic in my life. Even to this present day, and I hope it always will.
Love and fear are two dominant, primal states of being. I largely believe that most emotions can either be categorized into the love or fear category. At any given situation in our lives, all of our decisions stem from our emotions; either consciously or unconsciously. My purpose here today is to invite awareness to your emotions. Let’s begin by approaching some of these questions below:
When you reached out to your friends to catch up, was it rooted from love or fear? Were you reaching out because you haven’t been, afraid to be forgotten, or wanted to be heard?
When you left that comment or shared that article/video to others, was it rooted from love or fear?
When you decided to eat that bowl of salad, was it rooted from love or fear?
When you said, I love you first, was it because of love or fear?
When you took up that job, was it because of love or fear?
When you finally decided to step out of that toxic relationship/friendship, was it rooted from love or fear?
When you reacted to that harsh comment from someone you love, was it rooted from love or fear?
The last time you said yes, was it from love or fear?
The last time you said no, was it from love or fear?
Were most of your questions leaning towards love, or fear? More often than we admit, most of the time, we responded to many situations from fear. And that is okay because fear is necessary and healthy for growth. It meant that we allowed ourselves to be human. But letting fear takeover our life means living life from an ego-mind. When an emotion comes up and we feel triggered, our thought process may choose the fight or flight strategy. These emotional triggers only revealed energetic blockages that we are not handling presently. In the fight mode, we may respond in anger, frustrations and take actions. In the flight mode, we may choose to be avoidant of the emotion. This could be in avoiding the conversation; emotionally bypassing or suppressing it; indulging in excessive habits like binging, retail therapy; drug/alcohol reliance that only offered temporary relief and not a true solution and handling of the problem. This often also leads to chronic, physic ailments that arise in the future. Both approaches stem from an ego-mind. Our ego thrives and secures itself by solidifying its identity with fear. But we are not our ego, we are not our fears.
In our core, on the other side of fear is a heart-based space, a place of expansion and growth.
According to the Heart Math Institute, in contrary to the old belief where only our brain sends out neural signals (orders) to the rest of the body including our heart, our heart actually sends out more signals to the brain than the opposite! A 40 years research of the heart revealed that our heart’s pattern and activity hold distinct effects in the cognitive and emotional function of our body. When we are stressed, anxious or acting out of fear-based emotional states, our heart’s pattern is erratic and causes higher cognitive function. This results in our inability to think clearly and make calm effective decisions. When we are appreciative, compassionate, joyful and acting from love-based emotional states, the opposite cause our heart’s pattern to enter a coherence that is smooth and harmonious. We feel good and create effective and aligned decisions.
When we choose to act from love, we are allowing ourselves to unlock the wisdom of the heart. Shifting and transmuting our fears to love requires practice. It involves a continuous and consistent act of courage and resilience that we never thought exist in ourselves- but it does. A wisdom that begins when you bring your awareness inwards.
“thoughts cannot heal your pain, presence can transform it.”
According to Phil Wade, a Self- Realization Expert and Spiritual Teacher of Gateway Location, he explained that an uncomfortable emotion is an inner invitation for your personal healing; a release and an inner transformation waiting to be realized by no other person- but you. To begin that healing means remaining and engaging in an Infinite Silence (or stillness), of an allowing as a neutral observer and letting any emotion flow in without judgments. And let anything comes up, up, and anything else flow. Sadness is an emotion that indicates a gradual letting go process. So when sadness or tears come up, embrace it. This is highly effective when we meditate and is enhanced with continuous practices. Shifting to love also involves bringing the awareness beyond the situation- are you responding because of ego, are you truly listening, are you answering because you want to be heard, are you reacting or responding out of love or fear?
There is no singular, immediate antidote to dissolve fear and transmute it to love. Rather, it remains as a principle that we honor and choose over at every single moment, at every single day. When we allow ourselves to get comfortable with feeling it all and being vulnerable, we are gifting ourselves with the highest offering of love. And eventually, this love outpours to others. When we choose to act out of our ego, we learn to be the curator of it and not let it be the curator of our life. The truth is, we have so much love within us all, don’t let the ego misuse it as fear.
“All healing is essentially a release from fear.”
Whenever you have to make a decision, take a moment to be centered and quiet, allow that moment of stillness and ask yourself,
What would happen if I look at this from a place of love?
What would happen if I look at this from a place of fear?
Keeping choosing love, over and over again.
Choosing love over fear does not mean all fears are dissolved or had magically disappear. It just means we are opening ourselves for our fears to be healed and transcended into a higher vibrational match that we deserve. Recognize your inner courage and resilience. Be the conscious choice for your expansion within and honouring all the outcomes with gratitude and appreciation. Act from your heart. I promise you, your energies will shift and everything will work out as it is meant to. To courage, resilience and so much love.
Interested in diving inwards right now already? Consider Bhava: Your Journey Inwards Toolkit, a free resource dedicated for navigating one’s journey inwards. In this toolkit, we discuss how fear holds us back, its limiting beliefs and contains practices to move through them. We also discuss aspects of loose and healthy boundaries, compassion and inner child work. You can read more about Bhava here.
All my love,
Sylvia
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I am Sylvia— the founder, writer, intuitive healer, and human design reader of Arawme. “Arawme” is basically, a raw me put together.
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